I know, I KNOW! Move on already.

Oh, how I wish I could. Today Benjamin and I went to the pediatrician because his level of Hot last night was sort of Inferno-ish and might have unnerved Husband a bit. And, well, that's what you do when 3 year olds are sick, right? You take them to the doctor's office where EVERYONE is sick.

I hate that place. I always want to wear a gas mask and Hazmat suit and take a shower a la Silkwood after we're done which is NEVER FAST ENOUGH.

Anyhoo.

Benjamin typically loves the doctor. Because they give him Thomas stickers there. Somehow the stickers make him instantly forget the poking or stabbing or prodding that went on the 7 minutes before that moment.

And today was FULL of poking - full of JAMMING, really. They jammed two very long Q-tip looking doodads squarely up his nose and one squarely down his throat. He was thrilled. Luckily the nurse was very skilled, if a bit socially awkward, and it was over quickly. He sneezed about 97 times afterwards and blew snot all up and down my arm and HOW I don't have this pestilence after what he's flung at me the past few days I WILL NEVER KNOW.

Turns out he has (drumroll, please...) H1N1. A mild case. We were given Tamiflu, but I'm using it as he was literally running, singing and dancing all day long and had all of one dose of Motrin. I'm thinkin' Day Two of Piggy Pestilence is fine -- and no additional goofy drugs needed.

I was told that the incubation period for this is 1-4 days and if I don't come up with any symptoms by tomorrow there's a good chance I (and Leah) won't get it.

Ain't that some shit? The girl who is currently afflicted with EVERYTHING somehow may skip Swine Flu.

We'll see. Day ain't over yet.

So, that's the update. No more pestilence stories. Tomorrow we'll talk about something WAY more interesting.

Yep, that's right, folks - it's time for that penis story I promised you. You'll want to have a cocktail at hand for this one.