As many of you know, I ended up in Austin as our fleeing destination of choice for The Hurricane That Never Happened here in Houston. While there, I went with several of the other cousins to a terrific needlepoint shop.

(All right, YES, I needlepoint. I am “crafty”. The problem is I never have the time or patience to do anything large, so I have a ton of small canvases in my bag … most of which are done. I covet the stitching skillz these women have.)

I picked a very groovy, small design to stitch for BestFriendWendy’s newest little girl and I am currently working on it. Husband’s Aunt Barbara (who is the coolest, most gracious lady ever AND taught me how to stitch) spent some time helping me figure out what stitches I should do in what areas of this small, but somewhat complicated canvas.

While we were sitting around watching EVEN MORE horrifying pictures of the traffic getting out of Houston on the TV, we worked on our respective stitching projects. We were chatting about all the different and really cool designs / canvases that are available now when I wondered (out loud) if there were pornographic needlepoint canvasses?

I mean, the pornography industry is a multi-billion dollar gig, right? And for every pastime or interest, there is ALWAYS a pornographic or erotic option. Even blogging! Man did I ever get surprised trolling through the “Next Blog” button in Blogger…

I would just bet there is some crafty woman out there right now threading a needle to Bargello the hell out of a penis. And then have a pillow made.

It was very apparent that, in 30 years of doing needlepoint, this thought had NEVER crossed Aunt Barbara’s mind. Which? Tickled me to no end. I’m a bit twisted like that. It’s part of my charm.

So, I Googled for naughty needlepoint tonight. I tried many, many search word combinations. I put a lot of thought and analysis into this search, people, and came up with nothing. Can you believe it?!

I’m kinda disappointed. Especially for Aunt Barbara.