Well, this little evacuation / freak-out has turned out to be a nice little vacation. No, seriously.
I'll share the beautiful sunset picture from the balcony of the lakehouse once I get back home, but trust me -- p.e.a.c.e.
My one high-maintenance moment of this whole weird ordeal happened today (and, yes, I can admit it was high-maintenance). After dealing with scattered family members, not sleeping for two nights, not pooping for 3 days (I am not proud) and a variety of other schlepping episodes, I finally hit the wall.
I didn't have it in me to dry my hair.
I took a lovely shower. I washed my hair with the 900 way too expensive hair products I remembered to cart around with me. I even put MORE conditioner in my hair as a "treat". But I just couldn't dry it. Luckily, I do NOT have a picture of what my hair looked liked after air-drying this morning.
But let's just say many in the family were wide-eyed. Think Macy Gray on crack in a windtunnel and you are well on your way (but not quite there yet) to the correct image.
Not pretty.
And so, I did what any normal completely high-maintenance evacuee would do. I made an appointment at a random hair salon in the hopes they could help dry my hair.
You think that's easy? Here's how ANY conversation goes when I don't use my normal salon:
Me: I desperately need to get my hair blow dried.
Them: No problem. What time?
Me: Hang on. Before we do this, you need to be aware of a few things.
Them: Uh, ok.
Me: My hair is unbelievably thick, coarse and curly. Do you have someone there very skilled with a round brush and flat iron who doesn't rely solely on product to make this happen.
Them: No problem!
Me: You would think, but I doubt it. How much do you charge for a blow dry?
Them: $27.50
Me: Yeah, see, that is not going to work for you. I promise you that you'll want to charge me $50. This should give you an idea of the task about to be undertaken.
Them: No, really, it will be fine.
Me: Okay, I'm going to explain this a different way. Think White Girl with Black Hair. Get the picture?
{Insert family cracking up in the background here.}
Them: Oh. Well, I'm sure it will be fine.
Me: [Praying they know what they've signed up for] Ok...
Cut to me walking in.
Them: Holy mother of G-d and all that is holy what the fuck is THAT?!
Me: Ready to charge me $50 now?
Them: Uh, yeah.
The good thing is this little blow dry attempt (not great, but it'll do) will last 4 days. Cause I still have to drive home with The Swimmy and lord only knows how that is going to go. But, since we're staying until Monday, I think I'll get a manicure / pedicure while I'm at it!
"If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor here. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So, pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fucking car."
-- The Wolf, Pulp Fiction
"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."
-- Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
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You know, if you'd just stayed in Houston and stood outside, the blow dry would have been free!
Posted by: Chris at September 25, 2005 12:18 PM