Hi, I’m Pammer and this is outsidevoice.

I am an old soul in high heels. I am a recovering IT consultant and sales executive and right now I’m just happy to be here.

In what could only have been a drunken moment, I decided to chuck my previously lucrative career to work in the world of philanthropy. I wasn’t really a fundraiser, I just played one on TV — and I made 40% of my previous salary. I was clearly a moron.

A moron with great jewelry.

I graduated from the University of Missouri in 1992 (go Tigers) with a degree in Communications. I also have two post-graduate degrees. That means that I am educated on much, but qualified for nothing.

I have pulled things in my career that HR people just marvel at and I was happy to admit that if someone told me I could quit tomorrow I’d walk out grinning like the Cheshire cat.

I love cheesecake, magazines, etsy, raunchy comedy, great finds at ridiculous prices and my insanely powered blow drier because I have the most difficult hair in the world. Oh, and I’m an internet ninja and a bit of an accessories whore.

My family includes my husband and three daughters (ages 29, 22 and 8), son (3) and son-in-law (29), and grandbaby (newly born) and once upon a time the most high-strung dog ever to walk the earth.

And just a warning, I have a potty mouth.

100 Things

1. I was born in August 1970 and embody everything about a Leo.
2. I have the most difficult hair ever.
3. I am 5’9” and am not afraid to wear heels.
4. I love food and cooking and am addicted to culinary magazines and the Food Network.
5. I am tall and thin, but not healthy.
6. But I’m working on it.
7. I love profanity used appropriately.
8. I think the world should work on a school calendar that begins in September. And we should all get excited about new school supplies every year.
9. I love makeup and face products, but I get zits because I am often too lazy to wash my face at night.
10. Which may be why I need the products and makeup.
11. Barry Manilow was my first concert (with my parents). Journey was my first concert with friends.
12. I gave up sodas while I was pregnant and it was almost as bad as giving up wine.
13. I got kicked out of The University of Texas with a 1.25 grade point average.
14. After fixing my grade point average at the local community college, I transferred to and graduated from the University of Missouri. Until I went there, I never knew Columbia, MO existed.
15. I’ve only been back once, but want to go back again.
16. Mine is a house divided between UT and Mizzou.
17. I am married and have three beautiful daughters (29,24 and 8). I inherited two when I got married. Guess which two.
18. Because of this, at the age of 36 I became someone’s step-mother-in-law.  That title freaks me out.  At the age of 39 I became someone’s step-grandmother.  That one just about did me in.
19. My husband has had 4 knee surgeries and he’s not done yet.
20. I left a very lucrative career to work in philanthropy. I love my job, but hated my salary for awhile.
21. When people meet me many think I’m wealthy and a bitch. They’re half right.
22. I can eat a dozen glazed donuts without thinking twice.
23. I suck at math.
24. Husband and I share distinct moments when we could have met in our lives, but didn’t.
25. He is my bashert.
26. I have always had schnauzers as pets.
27. I believe I will win the lottery, but always forget to play.
28. I still have both one grandmother in my life.
29. I believe psychics can communicate with dead people. And I have the session notes to prove it.
30. I have been a member of all three of the major synagogues in my city at one time or another.
31. Nobody believes I’m a native Texan when they meet me.
32. I listen to pop, alternative, and rap music, Fox AND Opie & Anthony.
33. I fall asleep when I read so it takes me forever to read a book.
34. The only places I’ve been outside this country are Mexico and the Middle East.
35. I will never drive a minivan.
36. I have too much respect for the master painters to ever try to paint myself.
37. I would love to learn how to cut a diamond. And then get to keep it.
38. I believe I could have been an actress. Not a starlet.
39. I have never jumped off the high dive.
40. I love that The Swimmy knows her grandparents AND great-grandparents.
41. I have a plan to create a series of websites and books.
42. I cry at Steel Magnolias every damn time.
43. I love animals, but hate cats.
44. I cannot sing.
45. I prefer baths to showers.
46. I’d like to learn how to take really amazing photographs.
47. I cannot wait to redesign and rip out my kitchen.
48. I love TV, but rarely watch network shows.
49. However, I’m currently obsessed with Bravo – specifically Top Chef.
50. I always wanted to be a redhead.
51. I’m a good dancer and, when I was younger, wanted to do it professionally for awhile.
52. I reschedule a bikini wax 2 times before I actually show up.
53. I covet many techy gadgets.
54. I think Bruce Willis’ storyline in Pulp Fiction could have been eliminated from the movie and it would have still been just fine.
55. I think cumin smells like B.O.
56. Indian food kinda scares me.
57. But I love sushi.
58. I never had mall bangs.
59. I believe I could kill someone to protect my family from harm.
60. I hate working.
61. I think people who say “I could never NOT work – I’d get too bored” lack imagination.
62. I love bed linens. The higher the thread count, the better.
63. I don’t really relax on vacation until the third day.
64. Thanks to summer camp, I can do some synchronized swimming.
65. I wish I were tanner.
66. I’m a hacker wannabe.
67. I have a problem with red underwear.
68. I always fell for really smart men who make me laugh.
69. I believe NO is a complete sentence.
70. I have texture issues with some foods. For instance, peas and tapioca.
71. If we never hear from Britney Spears again, it will be okay by me.
72. My checkbook is beyond repair. And my husband is okay with that.
73. I believe charity is something everyone should embrace.
74. I want to have the brilliant ideas, but not be the one who has to execute them.
75. I love stand up comedy.
76. It is hard for me to forgive or forget.
77. But I’m working on it.
78. I totally “get” the Swimmy and Benjamin.
79. I would like to be rich, but not necessarily famous.
80. I can play a snare drum.
81. I can type really fast.
82. I trust my husband implicitly.
83. I cannot garden, but my rose bushes are self-sustaining somehow.
84. I am the network administrator in my house.
85. I linger in grocery stores.
86. I once played craps in Vegas for 4 hours straight. And broke even.
87. I am THIS from a gambling addiction.
88. I shop when I’m stressed.
89. I wish I had better HTML and coding skills.
90. I laugh at and with the Swimmy and Benjamin every day.
91. I would love to be someone’s artistic muse.
92. No matter how often we washed our dog, she still smells.
93. Good thing she was cute.
94. I’d like to be better at needlepoint, but I don’t have the time or patience.
95. Big Bird is better than Barney.
96. I never liked coffee.
97. I think the feminist movement was a complete disaster.
98. I want to go back to camp.
99. I discovered that I had faith on my 30th birthday.
100. I don’t want my kids to wait that long.