Let’s See: A Lesson in Retrograde

February 26, 2015


image via grapefriend

image via grapefriend

I have a tendency to either under or over think things. There really is no middle ground. It’s LET’S GO! or it’s eight million details organized by category and vetted so thoroughly you can see the threads from wear.

What I haven’t done well, but I am getting better at, is “Let’s SEE.”

A lot of people bemoan mercury retrograde for its chaos and frustration and, well, okay it does do that and it’s not always great to live in, but I once read a description that changed how I look at that chaos several time a year. Instead of fighting against it, instead of trying to tie down the eight million details all now in disarray because the universe decided to pull the tablecloth off in one, messy swoop, I learned to grab the wine glass before it spills and sit back and watch it all fall.

It’s a lot less stressful that way.

I’m currently looking for a job. I’m looking for a professional home for the next several years and if ever there was a time to implement the LET’S SEE mindset, it’s this process.  I have tried to fit a square peg into a round hole a LOT over the past several months. I’ve questioned my experience, my skill set, my opportunities, my sanity. There may have been a conspiracy theory woven late one night in a bubble bath.  I had this list of things I wanted this position to bring to the table beyond compensation (but that had guidelines, too) that were very specific and I started to compromise on a few of them.  Somewhere in the middle of this last mercury go-round an opportunity I was really excited about, but somehow not fully connected to in my heart, went sideways and I was … over it. I wanted to make that one work if only so that the process would be done.  It wasn’t.

All the dishes were up in the air, a few had fallen and broken, food was splattered all over the walls, and I was about on the verge of tears because the one thing I had in my hand was running very, very low. Garcon, more wine, please.

And then, you guessed it, retrograde ended, and my inbox pinged with information that sounded ludicrous three months ago, and now I find myself fully involved in crafting an opportunity that is checking a whole lot of boxes on my “perfect opportunity” list – even if none of us really can quite define this, and we’re all smart people. I’ve decided that this lack of definition doesn’t bother me (because you can choose not to be bothered by such things), even though it should, because sometimes you just have to go with your gut and trust that the ride really is okay.

And it is. Or at least I believe it will be. I’m hanging on to my wine glass for a bit, though. I’ll either throw it against the wall or raise it up in a toast.

So, let’s all just strap in and see.

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One Response to “Let’s See: A Lesson in Retrograde”

  1. Pat Says:

    A wry smile is in order. Well done, Pam.