The Lesser of Two Evils

February 21, 2014


Zabar's Black and White Cookie - Image via

Zabar’s Black and White Cookie – Image via

I find myself with choice to be made – and it doesn’t seem like there are any other alternatives. Because I’ve looked for anything I could find.

I can either have a happy, loving, well-adjusted kid with a C, possibly D, average – or I could have a miserable, mean, anti-social kid with a B average.

The parent-answer is simple: I want my kid happy and healthy and whole. All day, every day, for as long as she is on the planet. But the world doesn’t work that way. The world will punish her for “bad” grades, for not looking good on paper. It will affect school acceptance or activities, college applications and opportunities, and, possibly, the way she is perceived and perceives herself.

But she’ll have friends, and love her brother, and smile, and laugh, and relax and see the world as a good and color-filled place.

The thing is, as a parent, you are constantly making decisions that affect the welfare of your kids – even if they rip your own heart out. But when you have kids that have other challenges – things you can’t fix with hugs or kisses or ice cream, things that are untouchable because it’s just how they’re biologically wired – you tend to rip your heart out more regularly. Or other’s hearts.

You live the best you can with the decision you make that rip out your own heart, but this? This is a decision that could affect her directly. This isn’t Sophie’s Choice, but I’m in the train yard nonetheless.

I don’t ask for advice much – but, if you have any, I’m all ears.

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One Response to “The Lesser of Two Evils”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    That is so, so tough. Have you thought about asking her for her input? As an almost-teen, she probably has a pretty good grasp up what the two options mean now and in the long run. Not that she necessarily should be the one to make the final decision, but maybe it will help you figure out what is best for her. (Or the less crappy choice, anyway.)