I won’t lie. I’m kind of ready for this week to be over.
I would love to have this lovely post about all the enchanting things I’ve come across this week, but, the fact is, it’s been a hard week. Husband can’t do much, including drive, so it’s been ALLPAMALLTHETIME for everyone and that is a little tiring. A lot tiring.
Benjamin is having a rough time because things are not “regular.” Schedules are off, routines are blown, tempers are running a little short and I can’t help but feel badly for him. In his simple, seven-year-old world, a parent is missing, and he is trying hard to understand it all, but his attempt at holding it together is slipping quickly. I’ve taken a lot of deep breaths and given several extra big hugs this week. I’ve been reminded of why I’ve made certain decisions with him in mind in the past – and been reminded about why that needs to continue.
Last night I got to explain to Leah what the words “whore” and “slut” mean. Because middle school is fantastic. Those weren’t on her assigned vocabulary list, but the upshot here is she had to ask what they meant, so what’s left of her innocence made it this far, right? I’m sticking with that.
After not being able to solve a health riddle, I finally went to a new internist who, it turns out, may be a genius. If her guess is correct, a whole bunch of stuff may suddenly get fixed including this crushing fatigue I thought was just from, oh, life? Motherhood? I’m not one to wish for diagnoses, but, man I’d sure like to move on.
I’ve been short this week – in words and in compassion. They say you shouldn’t respond when you’re angry – well, you maybe shouldn’t write, decide, or respond when you’re exhausted and frayed as well. A good night’s sleep would do wonders – and I hope one is on my horizon soon.
It’s almost hot chocolate weather here. I’m looking forward to the first cup, even if some pieces of fall are missing in heart and window. I hope there’s a cup waiting for you — See you again next week, friends — xo