In the next few weeks I will most likely have a new job. Well, a new role within the same organization, but, for the most part, a new job. It isn’t what I asked for, it isn’t what I came here for, it isn’t particularly soul-enriching, but it’s what I’ll do, because sometimes you do what you have to, not what you want to, when you’re a grown-up.
(You ever imagine what your life would look like if you only got to do what you wanted to do? It’s sobering.)
There is a pattern I’m noticing in 2013 that is exhausting, but compelling. Every time I am up against a difficult, grown-up decision, a person who has absolutely nothing to do with that particular situation seems to enter Stage Left and color in a different piece of a mystery puzzle I think I am completing, but I have no idea the shape or scale.
See? Kind of exhausting. But, at the end of the day, interesting.
If all the world’s a stage, then everyone in my life is a character in a story, right? I miss the ones not in this Act – and I miss the ones I know won’t be in the next Act. I sometimes wonder if they took puzzle pieces with them, but I won’t know that now, I guess. Maybe one day we’ll figure out how they all fit back together again. If they do. If they want to? Something.
In the meantime, I’ve decided that the part of me that still craves adventure and discussion and connection and story and passion needs to be woken from her coma and rehabbed immediately. That started today. As did a few projects that have had dust on them for far too long.
One of these is the kind of project where you know, at the end, it will have some sort of weight, or lesson, but you won’t know what it is until you see all the work done and collected. There is something rather fascinating about pursuing something that has a bit of mystery to it – an outcome unknown.
The other is, well, fun. And heart-warming. You’ll see a bit more about that soon.
So, here’s to the end of a long week – I hope there is a soft pair of flannel jammy pants and a glass of red wine waiting for you. See you back here next week, friends — xo