Tomorrow, after a month away, we will drive over to camp to pick up Leah. This month has gone by in a blink and so very slowly all at once.
When she first left, the days seemed endless. I realized as she gets older, I miss her more when she’s gone. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s the idea that you only get 18 summers with your kids. That’s all. I guess I know we’re on that down side of that hill.
There was an early letter, some sent back and lots of looking online for pictures. And then… the letters stopped. And I got angry. And hurt. And being angry with your kid is the worst feeling ever. Doubly so when they’re away.
There were emails sent. Pointed ones, which only did SOME good.
I’d really like to be excited to pick her up tomorrow, but I am reticent. I’ll be glad to have her home, and Benjamin will, too, but I can’t help but wonder who I’ll be picking up tomorrow.
Summer sleep away camp is transformative – it is one of the great, great parts of camp – and it is always interesting to see how she has grown or changed when she comes home. She is always better for having gone, and I am so glad she has the opportunity to do that.
But, later tomorrow there will be A Discussion when we get home. No yelling, but A Discussion. There will be consequences – and amends to be made. It’s not quite the homecoming I’d choose, but that’s okay.
I still get to see this face.