Cutting It Off

January 28, 2013


I am on a quest. I am on a quest that is requiring more courage than I ever thought I’d need, quite frankly, and it’s making me think entirely too hard about why that is.

You see, I want to cut my hair.


Right now my hair is the longest it has ever been. It is past my shoulders. What this means is that I can wear it either blowout straight or let it air dry and enjoy the natural curls G-d has given me that I’ve never been entirely comfortable with. It means up-dos and one killer ponytail. I means I could braid it if I so chose even though I have no idea how to braid. I can topknot like you would not believe. It is compliments on my mane like the astrological lionness that I am.

At the age of 42 it is everything “hair” I never had growing up that I always wanted.

It is also 1.5 hours of time washing to finishing spray, start to finish. More recently it is $50 a pop in blowouts because I simply cannot physically blowdry my hair. It is in need of root touch ups and, if I’m being truthful, it is in need of a two-inch trim to account for some damaged ends.

It is becoming a weight. More often than not it is in a ponytail, sleek, but not styled. It keeps getting caught under my purse shoulder straps. I have to plan my week around these blowouts. Blowouts I used to LOVE have become an annoyance in a busy week. Although the cut is solid, there are days it feels less than stylish.

And so, for the past several weeks, I’ve been looking for the right “short” cut. This could mean eight inches, maybe more. Either way, it will be a drastic change.

I’m having something of a Samson-crisis. My hair is a defining piece of my self-image. It is, in many ways, a part of my inner power. I fear I’ll regret doing it. I fear I’ll hate it. I fear it won’t grow back out in time for Leah’s bat mitzvah in April of 2014. More truthfully, I fear it will “age” me – or be “mom” hair.

I want it to be liberating. I want it to be sleek, or sassy, or sexy – and I want it to still bring me power like a g-ddamned Pantene commercial.

I’m considering a one-two punch of a lunch cocktail, cutting off my hair and then going straight to a favorite makeup counter and getting an update on some killer eye makeup so that it’s less about my hair and more about a new overall look for 2013. It’s a coping mechanism, I know.

It aggravates me that I am thinking so hard about this. It would be easier for me to decide to get a tattoo than chop off my hair right now. IT’S JUST HAIR, PAM. But, it isn’t.

But it is.

Sarah is considering going from her long locks to a pixie cut. I raise my champagne glass to her for I could never go that short on purpose. Erika famously went Madonna Truth-or-Dare blonde. My transformation will not be THAT dramatic, but I am considering (endlessly!) some version of the images above.

And that’s where we are right now: Considering. Anyone got a cattle prod?

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13 Responses to “Cutting It Off”

  1. Knighton Says:

    Five years ago, I cut my hair above my shoulders for the first time. I sat in that chair and cried like a child. And then it all grew back out.

    A year and a half ago, I had it cut to my ears. Had to give my stylist a no-tears guarantee – and what do you know, but I didn’t cry at all. And loved that short, sassy cut for about a year before I started missing a pony tail.

    The hair is *almost* to my shoulders again. I think I’ll take it longer for a while. But, you’re right, the blowdrying is getting out of hand.

    So, my advice, fwiw – go for it. And maybe take a flask to the salon with you. xoxo

    • pamlewis Says:


      Actually, she’s french. There’s a good chance she’ll have wine there already.

  2. stephanie Says:

    I think the haircut you show above (esp. in the Ashley Judd pic) would look AMAZING on you, especially if you have some natural wave/curl already. If you cut it now and don’t love it, it would definitely be at least shoulder length (if not longer) by April 2014. (My hair is sloooooow to grow, and even it would grow that long in over a year.)

    I say do it now. That way if it’s not your thing and you decide to grow it back out, it’ll be long enough to pin up by the time Texas summer rolls around.

    • pamlewis Says:

      My hair grows stupidly fast – so… it might be okay by then. I’ve even considered taking the magical pregnancy vitamins to help that along if need be. 🙂

      Thanks for the vote of confidence, friend! Have you ever drastically cut your long hair? Why does it seem like everyone’s talking about it?

      • stephanie Says:

        Oh, definitely. Mine is stick straight so I really only have the bob-option for above-the-shoulder hair. (A pixie would not look good on me, as much as I love the look.) But I usually go through cycles of growing it out (usually to 3-5 inches past my shoulders), then chopping it to just above my shoulders for several months, then growing it long again.

      • Champ Says:

        CHifithe mileage is indeed aberrant, thats why i asked. Its a manual and i run premium in it. No moiaifcdtions. I verified the MPG buy doing a manual calculation. I figured there might be some sort of engine problem that might cause something like that that i wasnt aware of.I only get that mileage in long distance highway cruising.

  3. April Says:

    Go cut it.

    Cut it to a length that won’t give you anxiety.

    Go back for a trim if you feel brave after that.

    But my dear, dear friend … consider this your virtual cattle prod :: the next one will come via FB & then a phone call #DontMakeMeShowYouMyMomSide


  4. Elizabeth Says:

    LOVE the Ashley Judd style!!! I totally understand what you are going through but DO IT! BTW…Leah’s bat mitzvah!? I just started to feel really old. Where on earth has the time gone?

    • Pam Says:

      I think this is what happens when you blink. OMG.

      Know what’s funny? I’ve used Ashley’s hairstyles a LOT for reference pictures. I hate her politics, but she may be my hair muse. ODD.

    • Cade Says:

      En général un enfant non accompagné c’est quand même louche… le mieux est de prendre ceux qui sont accompagnés par des parents ouverts et sympa.Les gens du voyage j’avoue que c’est un peu &lipuo; bazarre&nbsq;» comme sujet Je pense que la photo de rue dépend aussi beaucoup de la culture du pays dans lequel on se trouve. En Asie par exemple c’est super simple de prendre en photos des passants, la plupart seront ouverts et souriants !Dernier article de Samir :

  5. Dia Says:

    Locks of Love. If it helps to know that you are helping others, then DO it. You think your hair makes you feel like Samson? Think of what it would do for them!

  6. Jet Says:

    Girl, cut your hair….if it ain’t back…..I’ll give you a weave…. It’s really that simple….lol!!!!!