Center of the Universe

April 18, 2011


There is a lot of joy that comes with the title of “mom”. There are laughs and zerberts and tickles and smiles and “firsts” and unending love in two directions. There are lessons taught and learned, traditions old and new, pictures and crayons and hugs and kisses.

Somewhere in there your center of the universe changes from you to that little person and you’re totally fine with that. You’d give your life and limbs and soul for that little person to have a life well-lived and happy without a second thought.

But somewhere in there you see that you are the center of that little person’s universe as well – and it stuns you. Repeatedly.

You are the axis that their day and their heart revolve around. Your presence is what makes all right in their world. Your words are needed desperately, your hugs and kisses fix everything, your wink makes a smile appear.

It is wonderful and terrifically crushing at times, the needing. It lifts you and wears on you. It wears on your patience and your tolerance and your ability to react rationally. It turns silly sibling bickering into door slamming and fourth grade recorder practicing into something akin to nails on a chalkboard.

And after weeks and weeks of endlessness it makes you question decisions. It makes you “what if”. Silently in your head but not your heart, but, still. It makes you.

But then you get a chance to get away – to learn and laugh and learn some more with a really interesting group of women and men who often times find themselves in the same situation. You fill your head with new information and experiences, you laugh and, if you’re really lucky, you get to teach a little.

And with each passing hour and day and each new “ah ha” for others you may or may not have had any part in you start to remember the “ah ha’s” on little faces. With each raucous and inappropriate belly laugh shared in a hotel room with new friends you remember tiny fits of laughter before bedtime. With each day that passes you are so glad to have gotten away but are more and more ready to return home.

It’s good, this time spent away. More so the time spent alone where you settle back into your thoughts and recline into a new headspace – or an old one once forgotten. The moments begin to have meaning again and returning the axis of that universe to its upright position is a bit easier.

Video by Katherine Center

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that magical things don’t happen when good people get together.

Thanks, mom2summit

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10 Responses to “Center of the Universe”

  1. Amie aka MammaLoves Says:

    Always good when i get to spend time with you. Miss you already!

    • Pam Says:

      Likewise, my friend. You were a true highlight. Miss you, too — let’s not go 8 months without talking.

  2. gigi Says:

    Lovely post! I sat in on your panel and really enjoyed it. Wish we had gotten to formally meet. Maybe next conference! 🙂

    • Pam Says:

      Oh, thank you so much! It was terrifically fun to do – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Not sure what my next conference might be… still weighing up all of that… But we can always visit via Twitter, etc! 🙂

  3. Christine Says:

    I love the last line about taking good care of ourselves. So true!

    It was fabulous meeting you, and I look forward to seeing you in Houston soon – maybe a quiet coffee gathering sometime?

    • Pam Says:

      Thank you! And, yes, would love that. Houston has some terrific bloggers/writers – I’d hope we could get together more frequently than conferences! 🙂

  4. Mae @ Here in This House Says:

    really beautifully written. i got chills – even though i was there and already saw the video! (i blame it on my extreme sentimentality.) thx for posting!

    • Pam Says:

      Thank you so much — that is very kind of you. 🙂 Katherine has a way with video, doesn’t she? I’ve enjoyed her books as well!

  5. Clark Kent's Lunchbox Says:

    I should’ve given you more props for being one of the one’s behind the Richard Marx comeback tour. It was really cool seeing you in NOLA – even cooler that we live right across town from one another.

    PS – My wife is in love with the outfit you wore for your panel. She’s mentioned it 3 times already.

    • Pam Says:

      Thank you, sir – and the feeling is mutual. Your wife has excellent taste, BTW, but you already knew that. She picked you after all. 😉

      Nice job at the conference — hope it continues to bring you success.