How to Prepare for Someone to Stay in Your House While You’re on Vacation (Or? Oh, hai, OCD. Nice to meet you!)

July 20, 2010

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For the first time in close to seven years Husband and I are going on vacation.  Alone.  No kids. 

NO KIDS.

(I think that deserved its own line and all caps.)

We have family here in town but it’s just really too much to ask any of them to keep these darling, precious offspring for any significant length of time so, thanks to the Internet, a friend GENEROUSLY shared the name of a babysitter she had used for overnight trips for her girls.

After a few emails and texts back and forth there were dates that worked, then didn’t work (insert heart attack HERE) and then others that worked better not realizing it caused havoc in other logistical areas (insert second heart attack HERE), but yes, finally, some dates were set.

Next up? Meet.  Tonight she will come over and sit with the kiddos while the grownups run away for a few hours to, I don’t know, sit in quiet?  Eat somewhere with no kids meal menu?  Stare at each other?

This morning it occurred to me that this person is going to be staying in my house and, huh, guess I ought to get some stuff straightened up around here.  We don’t live in squalor by any means, but, you know, there are some stacks.  In various places.  They’ve gotten kind of tall.

Somewhere along the way a dormant OCD gene kicked in and this is how I’ve prepared for her to not only come over tonight, but live in my house.

  1. All laundry must be done, folded and put away. Or folded and put on closet floors for others to walk in and deal with. 
  2. While putting away laundry in your drawers, realize there are way too many clothes you just never wear in them. Proceed to start cleaning out long unworn clothes from every drawer.  There are 27 drawers.  Including your underwear drawer.
  3. Feel a great need to replace your bed linens.
  4. Also paint your entire upstairs.
  5. Make sure the kids’ rooms are clean. Walk into 9yr old girl’s room and realize “it’s clean enough”.
  6. Realize this person will have to actually feed the kids.  Panic at the thought of menu planning for a week.
  7. Realize Husband will have to do the grocery shopping before the trip because you’ll be in NYC at BlogHer 2010.  Hyperventilate.
  8. Decide to have new file cabinet assembled TODAY so entire study and years of paperwork can be organized IMMEDIATELY.  Also finally hang pictures in study above file cabinet. 
  9. Vaccum entire house.  Consider vacuuming the grass outside.
  10. Wonder how long it would really take to landscape the backyard.
  11. Remember that you are going on vacation for the first time in seven years. 
  12. Giggle uncontrollably.

If we actually get out the door, to the airport and on that plane it will be a g-ddamned miracle.

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10 Responses to “How to Prepare for Someone to Stay in Your House While You’re on Vacation (Or? Oh, hai, OCD. Nice to meet you!)”

  1. Jonathan Says:

    Is it so wrong that I sat here snorting through my nose at your insanity (which is very, very similar to my own)

    Reply

  2. Andrea Says:

    Ha! Apparently I am not the only crazy lady that took the list assignment in this way! Love it!
    But apparently I ma the only crazy lady without a beautiful blog! Hmm… must get tech savvy bother to quit his job and take up blog design!
    Happy day 2!

    Reply

  3. Micheline Says:

    Ummmm…. I go through all that every time I leave town, whether someone is staying at my house while I’m gone, or not… What happens if I die out of town… And I’m not NEARLY as anal as most of my relatives. ummmm… I always thought I thought it was a Catholic thing!

    Reply

  4. wishbone Says:

    its called PTS… pre trip syndrome… a lot like PMS/OCD combined. i was brought up in such an environment and it seems to have rubbed off. we too are having a vacation after 6 years of not doing this w/o kid. grandparents are coming to stay a week. we’ve been chipping away at “the list” for 4 months. a little paint here, deep cleaning there… actually did some land scape work this past weekend… had the carpets cleaned… both cars going to waterway for detail work… new pictures hung… new bedding, check. jezzzz… no wonder we need a vacation

    Reply

  5. Michele Eigler Says:

    Hi kiddo; It was really nice to meet you Saturday night. You’re not alone. I’m also stressed about the condition of my house. And my guy is just coming in to dog sit while I’m at BlogHer. I’m paying him. Why I should really care what he thinks I do not know. But I do.

    Reply

  6. Mocha Dad Says:

    I also have family here in town, but it is difficult to get them to watch the kids when we want to take overnight trips. I’ll have to look into this overnight babysitter option.

    Reply

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