I am in a fight with my body

May 28, 2010


Yeah, you read that right. We’re fighting. Sometimes I win, sometimes it wins, but it’s still a fight. After this last round of back injury deliciousness and the added fantastic side dish of food allergies I decided to really focus on getting back in shape.

I’ve been working out in ways I’ve never experienced before – and I love it. But sometimes I hate the immediate after effects.

For instance, the excruciating pain.

It doesn’t happen often and I can usually tell in advance if a certain routine or new move is gonna kill me later. But sometimes, just sometimes, it sneaks up on me. No warning while doing it, but the next day? HOLY SHIT.

Like say…. Squats.

I did a modified version of those two days ago. A simple up and down motion onto a bench. Feet spread apart. No big deal. Wasn’t too terribly difficult – two sets of 15. Okay, so 12-15 on that last set were a little uncomfortable. But I DID THEM, g-ddamnit. (I have this thing about finishing. It’s stupid.)

Yesterday I woke up and felt, uh, some pain. By noon I was ready to take a knife and cut my quads off my body. Like a fish being filleted. One large blade, held next to the bone, slight sawing motion – RIGHT. OFF.

It never got better and by the time Husband got home from work I could barely move. Sitting at the dinner table was a challenge. Well, not sitting, but actually getting my butt to the chair. THAT was bad. You would think I would have taken that hint that my legs had no interest in helping me out last night.
But I didn’t. I’m pretty sure the pain clouded my thinking. I had this fantastic idea to get in a hot bubble bath, the hottest water I could stand, soak for a while and then stretch out a little. Totally logical, right?

Also? Bubbles!

It was lovely. I read some more of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on my iPhone while I soaked. The room smelled of lavender bubbles.
And then it was time to get out.

Have I mentioned that I have a really large tub? Longer than I am and really deep? No? Well, that information will come in handy for you right about…now.
I couldn’t move. More specifically I couldn’t get my legs to bend and get up underneath me to be able to stand up. It was comical, but not. I decided to see if “backing out” of the tub might work. So, with great grace, I flipped myself over onto my stomach and tried to get up on all fours.

It worked! And, man, did I look hott.

By only the power of my arms and abs did I push myself up to a standing position. Benjamin watched the whole thing and in true three-year-old style declared, “Mommy? Sometimes you’re weird,” and then ran out of the bathroom.

I kinda thought I deserved a standing ovation.

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3 Responses to “I am in a fight with my body”

  1. Knighton Says:

    I think I owe you a cocktail.

  2. elz Says:

    I had the same thing happen when I started The Shred, it was terrible. I couldn’t…um…use the ladies room b/c I couldn’t get up and down. Just wait until you see me Sunday after my long run tomorrow-I may be sitting the whole time.