It is okay to have a bad day.
There. I said it.
This may be a wildly unpopular idea or just wildly impossible if I’m to believe my Twitter stream or Facebook Feed on any given day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking “happy” or “blessed” or “joyful” in any way. They are great states of mind to be in.
I just don’t think they exist all the time. I don’t think they SHOULD exist all the time.
There are days when I read all The Happy and The Joy in tweets and statuses and I wish it felt more genuine. I wish it felt less forced. In Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project (a great read, BTW), she tests the theory “act as you wish to feel”. It appears it works for the most part, but not always, and that’s okay. I get it – and I get that happiness is a choice. And if asked I would choose happy over less happy any day of the week.
(Note: As Gretchen points out, unhappiness and depression are different – and I don’t begrudge a clinically diagnosed depressed person anything – they lack choice due to illness.)
But some days are just hard. Some are crushing. Some are bad and make your heart and soul hurt. And I think choosing to feel that is okay, too. That sometimes it’s fine to wrap all of it around you – or walk right into it. That struggle and pain are helpful and real. It makes relationships real. It makes you real.
There’s a theory that says good that does exist without bad. You cannot appreciate beauty without the distasteful. That opposites in their nature enhance each other. I believe this. I believe that the moments I spend in “unhappy” provide me perspective – and many, many lessons.
The power of blogging, especially the mommyblogs, showed the “real” side of life. The “real” stories of motherhood. I wish we’d get back to that a bit. Find that true story. That true inappropriate laugh. I don’t need sunshine in my Twitter or Facebook feeds all day long. Sometimes I long for the vulnerable moment. The poignant.
Do I want to read endless streams of “My life sucks…”? No. That is an entirely different set of choices, isn’t it?
Do I wish anyone unhappiness? Of course not.
But please forgive me if I sigh a bit at the endless glee that is my Twitter and Facebook feeds. It’s just too much joy to bear.