Leah is about to leave for sleepaway camp this coming Sunday. She is enormously excited and has had an awful lot of fun shopping for the necessities of camp — kleenex, another bathing suit, glow-in-the-dark bracelets… you know, CRITICAL needs.

Late last week we found out her camp had a small outbreak of H1N1 (or the “swine flu”). Needless to say a great “oh, SHIT!” was heard about the land. Many minutes were spent googling “H1N1″ and all kinds of big words and scary media stories were found.

Then came the questions. Do we send her? How many kids have it? What are they doing about it? What if she gets it?

After the initial freak out, I knew we needed to take an optimistic “wait and see” approach. Part of that included calling my pediatrician who is, without a doubt, the biggest rockstar of my children’s lives. I explained the situation, which he was already aware of because many kids at camp are part of his patient base. His answer?

“Oh, I think it’s great. I’d let her get it.”

(pause)

(giggle)

“Oh, wait? You were serious.”

“Oh, yeah! Let her get it. This year’s strain isn’t bad and then she’ll have great immunity for next year – because they won’t have time to get it into the flu shot vaccine and it’ll be WAY worse next year. We’ve had 100 cases in the last two weeks. No big deal. We’re not even recommending Tamiflu once it starts because it’s really mild. But if you want it, I’ll give it to you and she won’t get it at all. Your call.”

“All righty then… ”

So. Just curious. If it were your kid – what would you do?

Leah got her clothes back today. I should probably explain this statement, huh?

Well, about a week ago, I walked into her room and for the nine gafrillionth time it was a mess. Clothes (clean ones, mind you) were shoved in drawers that could not close, under toys, in baskets and all over her closet floor.

And I had had just about enough.

So I quietly, but aggressively, walked downstairs, grabbed several trash bags and proceeded to confiscated every article of clothing she owned. Drawers were emptied, closet racks cleared.

To say she was stunned is perhaps an understatement.

I didn’t yell. Well, okay, I yelled once. For effect. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that if she didn’t appreciate the nice clothes that she had then she didn’t deserve to have them. There are many in this world who would kill to have her clothing – there are those who have nothing.

She no longer gets to choose her clothing. I would tell what she gets to wear every day. She has lost access to her pretty dresses she and BestFriendLauren use to play Fashion Show.

This was the worst part for her.

I took all the bags and stuck them in my closet and the week began. She would have to prove through her responsible behavior that she could take care of her clothes. She would have to earn them back.

You’ve never seen someone work so hard to prove that point in the first hour. She PROMISED she could prove to me that she could do it. She PROMISED I would be so proud of her. She APOLOGIZED ridiculously for treating her clothes the way she did.

Throughout the week I put together outfits that still had tags on them, that she had forgotten about, that she had never thought of or let me help her with. She loved it.

And wanted me to keep her clothes forever.

NOT THE POINT, KID.

So she now has her wardrobe back and is pretty clear that the next time I grab the garbage bags they will be leaving the house permanently. And I am now her fashion consultant.

A well-respected report was published today that stated the following:

Charitable giving in the United States declined for the first time since 1987, reports the Giving USA Foundation, though total giving again broke the $300 billion mark.

I have a lot to say about this as someone who (a) works in philanthropy as a profession, and (b) is a conservative politically.

First let me say this. No other country on the planet gives this kind of money. NO ONE. We are, without a doubt, the most philanthropic and generous country in the world. The media and certain political party members would like you to believe otherwise. I’m here to tell you the United States of America is outstanding.

Let me break this down even farther for you.

Of the $300 billion that was given, 75% of that was donated by INDIVIDUALS. Folks like you and I. Are there the enormous billion dollar gift commitments jammed in there somewhere? Yes. And thank G-d. But the majority of those gifts came from “regular folks”. Who get up and go to work every morning and still, at the end of the day, after all their expenses are taken care, their taxes are paid, decided to give part of their hard-earned income to an organization of their choice that would help those that can’t help themselves.

Philanthropic dollars provide, without a doubt, the margin of excellence in research, social services, arts and education. They are the dollars that launch a lab or clinical trials that might one day cure a disease. They are the dollars that brings arts education to students whose school district is so mired in political bullshit thanks to political agendas they’ve forgotten how to educated well-rounded, high-performing students. They are the dollars that put a roof over someone’s head. They are the dollars that provide a dying child one final wish.

None of this could be done by state or federal or corporate dollars alone. It takes impassioned individual donors who are committed to make a difference – whether they want the credit for it or not.

So, Mr. President, I submit to you the following – as it has already started to happen.

Your interest in redistributing wealth in a socialistic manner will fail not only those that have the means to support themselves, but more critically, fail those that do not have the means. You will, undoubtedly, kill capitalism and philanthropy in one fell swoop.

Those “haves” that you and your party so earnestly are pursuing – they are the ones who are truly taking care of the “have nots”. The government has failed them time after time, program after program. I’ve seen it first-hand. But the people of this country? They serve this national honorably – they serve it with dollars NOT taxed and already allocated for failed programs. They give more because they believe in a cause. Because they can make a difference. Because they can model the way.

If you raise taxes and take away the benefits of home ownership (at any level), if you add taxes and cap salaries – you take away people’s ability to give. You will fail those that you claim to want to help. It will be on YOUR shoulders, not the party across the aisle.

$300 billion is a lot of money. It is more than any stimulus money (in one fiscal year) you have passed or proposed. It is the life blood of so many non-profit missions.

Be really sure before you start screwing around with those that affect it. It will cost you an election.

Yesterday Leah had a check up – her 8 year old physical appointment. For the first time ever she had to bring in a urine sample.

(I’ll pause while you put your lunch down now.)

She thought I had just about gone batshit insane when I told her she had to pee in a cup, but she did as she was told. Benjamin was FASCINATED and Leah was nice enough (or too freaked out enough to care) to let Benjamin watch as she did this miraculous feat.

I’ve never seen a two year old stand there with big eyes and mouth hanging open. It was worth that all by itself. Pure awesomeness.

As she handed me the partially filled cup Benjamin stood mesmerized. I turned around to screw the lid on and heard, “Mommy? What’s dat? Apple juice?”

Good thing I had a good grip on that cup.

…with Benjamin.

Yes, folks, it’s that time. He needs to be potty trained. I had had just about enough of the whole “diaper” thing and started to think we should start to work on this so he would be trained before he left for college.

I’ll admit I’m totally cheating. Benjamin goes to a great little school during the day so I decided to give myself a break and let them start the fabulous process yesterday. And I’m totally thinking I’ll need the five days of prep time before dealing with it all weekend – because it occurred to me I will literally be held hostage by his butt and not be able to go anywhere since he has to “go” every 30 minutes or so while we try to get this under control.

Makes for an awesome weekend, no?

Yesterday was Day One. He did GREAT. Seriously. Not one accident all school day until he got…. wait for it… IN HIS CARSEAT. Awesome.

We had one additional accident because we “forgot the balls was coming out.” (His words)

He got it right the rest of the afternoon, including the “balls” and also ran around the house telling everyone, “No pishy in Thomas!” (his favorite, most influential underpants)

In further news, he is a big fan of his penis — and likes to hold it whenever possible, now that he has complete access to it. Also awesome.

And, because I needed to amuse myself, if you ask him where the party is, he will tell you “in his pants”.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to stock up on laundry detergent, M&Ms and scotch.