Last weekend I turned 38.
For several months I had been dreading this birthday – and I’m not totally sure why. For awhile it felt like the beginning of a downward slide, which is mostly ridiculous, but I think really it’s because it became a real sign-post for the beginning of the end of my 30s.
If you were to look at my resume, you would notice a very prevalent theme of “re-invention”. I believe I can count 4 or 5 distinct “careers” on that piece of paper. (Take that, Madonna.) As this birthday began to rear its head, I began to think about how I am reinventing myself this time. Beyond being a “stay at home mom”, and this attempt at getting paid to write, I am, without a doubt, trying to do something that would, without question, fall in the category of “starting from scratch”. And I haven’t done that in quite some time. Not only that, but I am stepping WAY out of the box.
On Monday I start a drawing class as part of a jewelry design curriculum at the museum.
I think I’ll just let that sit there for a minute. Huh. Yep. I am. Dude.
I believe this “end of my thirties” thing is starting to equal “try something totally different and let’s see where it goes.” And I have no idea. I may suck. I hope I don’t, but I might. And that’s kind of okay. At 38 I’ve gathered enough grace to realize I can admit that I might suck and move on.
If you ask me what I’m good at, I can give you a litany of things. Really. Just ask Husband. He’s very clear on them. I can also tell you what I’m not good at. (He is also very clear on those as well.) I think that is a critical skill to being successful in life. You’re not good at something? No problem. Find someone who is. And get out of their way.
But this thing I’m about to go do? No idea what list it’s on. You might find my line in Neiman Marcus one day – or on QVC. Or you may find it at a garage sale. Who knows? I could not be more unprepared for the feedback I’m going to receive from my professor.
But I can’t wait to find out.