So, The Swimmy has been on her medication for a week now. The best way for me to describe this week is to tell you I’ve gotten my little Swimmy back. I cannot tell you what a difference this little blue pill with sprinkles inside has made.
I will tell you that the first day she took it I watched her like a hawk for any signs of strange side effects. I think I might have been waiting for her to sprout wings or perhaps vote democratic. Neither happened, thank goodness. We had some minor appetite loss around lunch time, but she more than made up for that in snack and dinner.
What amazed me the most was to watch her outwardly manage her impulsivity. The best examples came in her language. We’d be in the middle of some kind of family activity full of hustling and bustling and just as she was about to pop off with some random thought that would have normally gone directly from her brain to her tongue and out her mouth with no filter – she stopped herself. A few times she actually said, “Wait. Oh. Never mind.”
The first time it happened I think she surprised herself. She got this look on her face like, “Whoa. Did I say that? No? Huh.” I just smiled and hugged her.
What was weird was how calm she really was. We had to get used to the fact that she wasn’t bouncing off the walls like she normally does. “Normal” now has a new definition – one closer to the way it should be. My dad remarked (and was really concerned) that she seemed sedated. I can understand why he thought that – for seven years she’s been a ball of spitfire, energy and constant motion. We’ve come to know her like that. But what we’ve come to know now is a little girl who still is cute and sweet and smart – but is also a bit more in control.
She’s not as anxious. She hears and listens. She proactively thinks a few (not many, but a few) steps ahead. The noise in her head is quieter. Now she can focus on things like her math tutoring – and as she succeeds she feels better about herself and actually ASKS to do her work. SHE’s reminding US.
I know there are many who believe medication is a terrible answer. There are many who look at me like I’m insane that we’ve made this decision. I don’t care. Not one bit. Everyone gets to parent their children as they see fit, but I love her way too much to let her struggle when she doesn’t have to. And I’m just glad to have my Swimmy back.