Dear Mystery Fever,
Get off me.
How is it that you have shown up two nights in a row with no other symptoms only to make me miserable with the achy joints and sensitive skin? Seriously? My hair hurts.
This family is so very tired of The Sick that seems to be stalking us like a psycho Jodie Foster fan. Leave already. We’ve taken every medicine, wiped the house down with Lysol and power feng shui-ed. It’s Spring here. You can go now.
Wondering if snorting Advil would make it act faster,