Open Letter: Christmas Decoration Style

December 16, 2007

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Dear People Who Put Up Christmas Lights,

First, let me thank you. You give us Jews some seasonal amusement without the hassle of having to untangle a gafrillion lights and risk falling off a ladder. Awesome.

However.

I have but one request. It should be a design law, really. It’s fairly simple.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO LIGHT AN OUTDOOR TREE, YOU MUST WRAP NOT ONLY THE TRUNK, BUT THE BRANCHES AS WELL.

For real.

I cannot tell you how many trees have been made to look stumpy instead of festive because you people are too lazy or too cheap to finish the job. Stop it. Hanukah’s over. I got nothing else in December going on and would love to admire your lights – but you gotta finish the job, folks.

Kthanksbye,

Pammer

P.S. Am I wrong?!

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4 Responses to “Open Letter: Christmas Decoration Style”

  1. Bill Says:

    What? No mention of Giant Blow-Up Glowing Freaky Scary Santas? Pop-up Reindeer? Incandescent Elves?
    You can see our street from Mars!!!
    What’s wrong with these people?????

  2. Bill Says:

    p.s. Don’t forget Twelve Two Two Fondue. It’s this Saturday, December 22nd.
    Duh!

  3. stephanie Says:

    Haha… I was actually just commenting on that the other day! I looks so ridiculous. I also hate when, instead of wrapping the tree limbs, they just sort of toss the lights onto it. If you don’t have an evergreen that can be wrapped nicely in lights, don’t bother with the trees at all.
    And the blow up things? They look so freaking tacky. Just give me some nice white lights, green garland, and red bows.

  4. Chris Cactus Says:

    Now, normally I’d agree except some trees are HUGE!