Dear People Who Put Up Christmas Lights,
First, let me thank you. You give us Jews some seasonal amusement without the hassle of having to untangle a gafrillion lights and risk falling off a ladder. Awesome.
I have but one request. It should be a design law, really. It’s fairly simple.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO LIGHT AN OUTDOOR TREE, YOU MUST WRAP NOT ONLY THE TRUNK, BUT THE BRANCHES AS WELL.
I cannot tell you how many trees have been made to look stumpy instead of festive because you people are too lazy or too cheap to finish the job. Stop it. Hanukah’s over. I got nothing else in December going on and would love to admire your lights – but you gotta finish the job, folks.
P.S. Am I wrong?!