Dear Woman on Pilates Equipment Across from Me Yesterday:
You have a rip in your yoga pants. A BIG one. While I applaud your efforts to get in shape at the age of 50-something, I do not need to know anything about you. I am only here to workout and get my banging abs and ass back.
And I really didn’t need to know you WEREN’T WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR and I am completely sketched out trying to erase the image of your Brazilian from my wee mind.
Reaching for the Merlot and trying to control the weeping,