Things I never thought I’d ever have to deal with. Part I

July 12, 2007


So, this penis thing? Not so into it. First off, it’s confusing. I don’t know how it works, I don’t relate to it and I have no idea it could, itself, have issues.

And I certainly never knew that said area could be SO VERY SENSITIVE on a wee almost-one-year-old that even the, ahem, adjoining skin could STICK to it and cause a painful, uh, adhesion the likes of which might scare the bejeebus out of someone.

I further never thought I’d be placing a phone call to a doctor uttering the words, “Benjamin has a sore on his penis,” with a perfectly straight face even though I was totally squicked out on the inside.

And when I take him to the doctor the next day for said boo-boo, I would have bet my dog’s life that I never would have sat there and watched him slam his head into a corner of a storage cabinet IN THE PEDIATRICIAN’S OFFICE causing much! blood! and a cut deep enough to potentially require stitches.

Which, of course, they don’t DO at pediatrician offices thankyouverymuch.

And who’d have ever THOUGHT I would then be headed down to the busiest medical center in the country at three in the afternoon because a “regular” hospital in my neighborhood may not have a pediatric anesthesiologist just in case they have to sedate him because, you know, almost-one-year-olds are SO GOOD at SITTING STILL.

And for the record? After schlepping down there? And wwwaaaaaiiiitttiiinnnggg a wee bit? He didn’t need a stitch after all.

So, yeah.

He’s fine. His one-year birthday party is Saturday and he looks like he’s been in a bar fight, but, at least we have something to talk about at his rehearsal dinner, right?

Not really looking forward to Part II.

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2 Responses to “Things I never thought I’d ever have to deal with. Part I”

  1. john Says:

    Ahhh….. The joys of having a son. hehe I had three of them and got to do LOTS of this stuff. But you will get through it, I have complete confidence in you. 🙂

  2. Bill Says:

    Wait until he discovers zippers.
    There will be that day, that piercing scream, those bulging eyes…
    Sign me,
    Been there, done that.