Maybe I'll just let Carol Burnett explain it to her

May 1, 2007

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“Mommy? Did it hurt when they cut Ben out of your tummy?”

“No. They gave me special medicine so I wouldn’t feel it. But I was sore for the week afterwards.”

“I don’t want to have a baby.”

“Why not?”

“’Cause I don’t want anyone to cut my tummy.”

“Well, not all babies are born that way.”

“Really? How are some babies born?”

“Through your privates.”

*Busts out laughing* “MY PRIVATES??!!!?? Now I’m REALLY NEVER having a baby!”

You know, I really pondered for a good while before going that extra step in that conversation that afternoon. Was this the right time to start talking about these kind of things? Is she old enough.

You bet.

This was more than how babies get in the world. I decided this was the beginning of a larger discussion the point of which has gotten lost on two generations of women (and men for that matter).

She needs to start hearing the real story. Not about penises and vaginas and condoms and misplaced “responsibility”. The real story is about commitment and covenant and less about biology. It’s how babies get in the world, but how they should never get in the world outside of a loving, committed relationship. It’s about making sure she doesn’t use base feelings and drives to satisfy a part of her life that is missing. It’s about struggling against a wave of pop culture bullshit that tells her it’s no big deal – her body and self-respect aren’t important – everybody’s doing it. You’re weak if you don’t.

This is an uphill battle. I know this. But, it’s not about today. It’s about years from now, at the end of the lessons, when it’s time for her to be a wife and perhaps a mom. It’s about being the kind of woman a real man would want as a wife. And how she’ll pick a real man to be her husband.

Yeah, it’s about that. And a really good anesthesiologist.

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3 Responses to “Maybe I'll just let Carol Burnett explain it to her”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    I think it’s really great that you are starting these things so young. I got the “where babies come from” talk when I was 7 (when my mom was pregnant with my brother) when I was too young to be embarrassed or afraid to ask questions about it and I think that’s a good time for that sort of foundation. Unfortunately, my parents never gave me any of the follow-up conversations… I think I turned out fine regardless because of the broader values I was raised with and because of our particular family history, but at the same time I think it’s important to establish that sort of openness early so that she will always feel comfortable talking to you about the non-technical side of sex. I’ve learned a lot about how to be a good wife and mother from watching my own mom — which goes a long way — but I still feel uncomfortable talking to her about personal things and I wish we had developed that sort of openness when I was young and I hope to have that sort of openness with any children I might have.

  2. Antique Mommy Says:

    You are a wise wise woman. I stand and applaud you and this post.

  3. Judy Says:

    YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!!!! DOES IT RUN IN THE FAMILY?
    Yes, we are home, had fun, had THE VIRUS, got well, see you Tuesday.