“Mommy? Did it hurt when they cut Ben out of your tummy?”
“No. They gave me special medicine so I wouldn’t feel it. But I was sore for the week afterwards.”
“I don’t want to have a baby.”
“’Cause I don’t want anyone to cut my tummy.”
“Well, not all babies are born that way.”
“Really? How are some babies born?”
“Through your privates.”
*Busts out laughing* “MY PRIVATES??!!!?? Now I’m REALLY NEVER having a baby!”
You know, I really pondered for a good while before going that extra step in that conversation that afternoon. Was this the right time to start talking about these kind of things? Is she old enough.
This was more than how babies get in the world. I decided this was the beginning of a larger discussion the point of which has gotten lost on two generations of women (and men for that matter).
She needs to start hearing the real story. Not about penises and vaginas and condoms and misplaced “responsibility”. The real story is about commitment and covenant and less about biology. It’s how babies get in the world, but how they should never get in the world outside of a loving, committed relationship. It’s about making sure she doesn’t use base feelings and drives to satisfy a part of her life that is missing. It’s about struggling against a wave of pop culture bullshit that tells her it’s no big deal – her body and self-respect aren’t important – everybody’s doing it. You’re weak if you don’t.
This is an uphill battle. I know this. But, it’s not about today. It’s about years from now, at the end of the lessons, when it’s time for her to be a wife and perhaps a mom. It’s about being the kind of woman a real man would want as a wife. And how she’ll pick a real man to be her husband.
Yeah, it’s about that. And a really good anesthesiologist.