Well, we’ve almost made it through eight krazee nights – and Benjamin got to have his first Hanukah almost germ-free. I say almost because he woke up on Monday with a raging head cold. Full-on, snot-flying, sneeze-cough-gag-throw-up, call the carpet cleaners (again!) head cold. I don’t think I’ve ever changed his clothes or his bed more times in one day since he was born.
Before SnotGate 2006 1/2, there was Night 1: My Parents’ House. Otherwise known as the “Hanukah Show”. I’ve talked a little bit about my dad’s LOVE of Hanukah and the giving of the BIG gift. It is theatrical. Tony award winning stuff. Truly.
Well, this year was no exception. And I think because we all dodged some very scary bullets this year with my mom, the celebration was destined to be completely over the top. And boy-howdy how it was.
It began with me teasing him earlier in the day when I was dropping off our presents to contribute to “Gift Mountain” later that night. The conversation went a little something like this:
“So. (Laughing) What’s the ‘Big Gift’ THIS year?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“But I will give you a hint.”
”Of course you will.”
“You know, sometimes big things come in small packages.”
“Yep. They sure do.”
“And you know… it may be too big to even be in this pile.”
“It may be.”
“It may be too big to fit in the house, you know.”
“Well, dad, I tell you what, when it pulls up the driveway, just honk it and I’ll come out and get it.” (laughing)
“Who says it’s coming up MY driveway?”
*blinks* Damn. He got me. WTF is he talking about?
Cut to: Later that evening. Dinner for Benjamite so he can be occupied while the rest of us shove food in our faces in order to quickly get to the Main Event.
“Okay! I’m ready to give you another hint.”
“Shit. Oh! I mean sure!”
*points to his hair*
“We’re all getting weaves?”
“We give up.”
I’ll spare you the rest of it because it basically deteriorated into ridiculous guesses and me giving up because I was distracted with Benjamin. In any case, my brother figured it out. But he cheated. Here was the equation and the result. Strap in, it’s a doozie.
Hair + Strong = Samson
Holy shit, Samsung! 46” of Samsung, people, and let me just say that I’ll be watching General Hospital up on my wall, bitches!
Dad has basically become the Neiman Marcus catalog – you know, the one you rush to the mailbox for to see what ridiculous and completely ostentatious thing is this year’s Top Pick that you could NEVER afford but WISH you could order? And each year is bigger than the last? And how in the hell is he gonna top himself next year?!
But, at the heart of it all, the best gift is that mom was here to celebrate Hanukah with her grandkids. See?
And now, some gratuitious cuteness.
He kinda looks like he’s her doll that she’s squeezing, doesn’t it?
A little sisterly lovin’
Future rehearsal dinner picture