Hanukah around my family is enormous. So big, in fact, that we’ve started to call it “The Hanukah Show” because my dad LOVES to give gifts…and PRESENT the gifts with a flourish. He’s good at it, too.
I suffer from the same affliction.
Now, between my husband and I, there is A LOT of family. A. LOT. So, the kids get bombarded with gifts. Because of that, Husband and I don’t buy a lot for The Swimmy and the Mighty Mighty Benjamite. Besides, shopping this time of year makes my head explode.
But! I came across the two presents we wanted the kids to get. For The Swimmy: the Fisher-Price Kid-Tough Digital Camera (so she will stop asking to use mine OMG). For Benjamin: Tickle Me Elmo.
This is where things go very, very wrong.
Benjamin has started to like Elmo. And I remember Tickle Me Elmo’s been around for awhile now. So…logically, an animated Elmo would be great, right?
I go to Target (because I hate Toys ‘R Us) and ask for Tickle Me Elmo. Unbeknownst to me, it appears I have picked the MOST popular kid gift this season. The Target employee laughs and says, “Oh, honey, those have been sold out for weeks. You don’t have a chance. Try eBay.”
Well, I figured, that was that and I’d just wait until after Christmas to buy him one when they came back in stock and everything calmed down.
I figured that, but it didn’t last long.
I started thinking about how poor, four-and-a-half-month-old Benjamin wouldn’t have ANY gift to open from us and isn’t that pitiful and what a bad mom I am to keep him from having a wonderful first Hanukah.
Am ridiculous. I know.
So…I went to eBay. Now, I’m no stranger to eBay and I know how these things work. It’s not unlike the psychology of a real auction – you have to keep your emotions in check otherwise you’ll end up spending $57.00 on a $3.00 spoon ring or something silly like that.
Well that shit flew out the window when I saw the 68 Elmos up for grabs. My “good Mom” gene kicked in and I started furiously jumping into bidding at the last minute of auctions in the hopes of stealing a furry, delicious muppet away from someone for my preshus, preshus Benjamite.
And? I lost every time. Someone else clearly wanted to pay more than I did and it was a bidding duel to the death. Bitch.
But then! I checked my email! And what did I find?!
A Second Chance to Buy Elmo.
The bidder on one auction couldn’t fufill the bid (dumbass) and I WON AN ELMO. Huzzah!
And so, if this wasn’t a completely fraudulent auction, this guy is coming home in 1-3 business days. And then he will drive us batshit for the next year and I will curse the day I won this damn auction.