Completely Whipped by Holiday Frenzy

December 9, 2006



Hanukah around my family is enormous. So big, in fact, that we’ve started to call it “The Hanukah Show” because my dad LOVES to give gifts…and PRESENT the gifts with a flourish. He’s good at it, too.

I suffer from the same affliction.

Now, between my husband and I, there is A LOT of family. A. LOT. So, the kids get bombarded with gifts. Because of that, Husband and I don’t buy a lot for The Swimmy and the Mighty Mighty Benjamite. Besides, shopping this time of year makes my head explode.

But! I came across the two presents we wanted the kids to get. For The Swimmy: the Fisher-Price Kid-Tough Digital Camera (so she will stop asking to use mine OMG). For Benjamin: Tickle Me Elmo.

This is where things go very, very wrong.

Benjamin has started to like Elmo. And I remember Tickle Me Elmo’s been around for awhile now. So…logically, an animated Elmo would be great, right?

Not right.

I go to Target (because I hate Toys ‘R Us) and ask for Tickle Me Elmo. Unbeknownst to me, it appears I have picked the MOST popular kid gift this season. The Target employee laughs and says, “Oh, honey, those have been sold out for weeks. You don’t have a chance. Try eBay.”


Well, I figured, that was that and I’d just wait until after Christmas to buy him one when they came back in stock and everything calmed down.

I figured that, but it didn’t last long.

I started thinking about how poor, four-and-a-half-month-old Benjamin wouldn’t have ANY gift to open from us and isn’t that pitiful and what a bad mom I am to keep him from having a wonderful first Hanukah.

Am ridiculous. I know.

So…I went to eBay. Now, I’m no stranger to eBay and I know how these things work. It’s not unlike the psychology of a real auction – you have to keep your emotions in check otherwise you’ll end up spending $57.00 on a $3.00 spoon ring or something silly like that.

Well that shit flew out the window when I saw the 68 Elmos up for grabs. My “good Mom” gene kicked in and I started furiously jumping into bidding at the last minute of auctions in the hopes of stealing a furry, delicious muppet away from someone for my preshus, preshus Benjamite.

And? I lost every time. Someone else clearly wanted to pay more than I did and it was a bidding duel to the death. Bitch.

But then! I checked my email! And what did I find?!

A Second Chance to Buy Elmo.

Yes! Yes.

The bidder on one auction couldn’t fufill the bid (dumbass) and I WON AN ELMO. Huzzah!

And so, if this wasn’t a completely fraudulent auction, this guy is coming home in 1-3 business days. And then he will drive us batshit for the next year and I will curse the day I won this damn auction.


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4 Responses to “Completely Whipped by Holiday Frenzy”

  1. Nickolle Says:

    Well did you ever find the Fisher-Price digital camera? Our children are close in age. My daughter Hannah is 4 (will be 5 next month) and my son Mason is 5 1/2 mths old. I just happen to fall upon your blog one day. I will say that I look forward to your posts. I check everyday. I feel like I am reading my own blog, I just have someone else typing it. I too have a spouse that is older than me. I am 30 and he is 41.
    Again thanks for a great blog..

  2. dee Says:

    Zach is getting a Tickle Me Elmo for Christmas this year thanks to my mom paying way more that it is worth on Ebay. I hope your second chance auction was a little more reasonable!

  3. Stephanie Says:

    I’ve heard this newest version of the Tickle Me Elmo is even more annoying that the first… good luck with that!
    (I’m guessing you could probably take batteries out and make him just be Hug Me Elmo or something if need be.)

  4. john Says:

    Thank heavens you didn’t want to give him a Playstation 3. lol