Dumb. Ass.

September 3, 2006



Like I wasn’t stupid enough to say “out loud” that Benjamin was a good baby. I had to go and do it again… and say the medicine was working.


And because it lies, Husband and I haven’t slept (again) in two nights. And Benjamite is clearly miserable. And the next medicine we’ve been told to try could possibly have two effects:

1. It works. He’s a bit sleepy, but it works.

2. It doesn’t work, and he’s completely jacked up and irritable for two days while it leaves his system.

In the meantime, I’ve had some time to do some infant analysis and I’ve come up with the following:

1. He can’t sleep if his hands are unswaddled.

2. He hates the swaddle like the 4th ring of hell.

3. His snotty nose is not helping matters.

Also in the meantime, I seem to have hurt my back (again) while trying to bounce him to sleep on my (now unused) pilates ball for 47 minutes in a row. My new best friends are now:

1. Vicodin

2. Flexiril

3. The trusty heating pad

Husband is thrilled. And have I mentioned OldestDaughter’s wedding this weekend? Kinda hard to wear fabulous heels with a back injury. This weekend is gonna be a logistical nightmare to begin with, and this isn’t helping. Not one bit.

Hi! Nice to meet you In-Law Family! Don’t mind us! We’re just tired, cranky and smelly because of the whole No Sleep thing. Enjoy the dinner (that starts at 11:30). If you need us, we’ll be sneaking dinner rolls and napping under the table while trying not to wrinkle ourselves.

Shall I whine some more?

Yes I shall.

Benjamite also has a lovely rash on one cheek and the top of his chest. I’m not terribly concerned, ‘cause he has no fever, but it’s less than attractive. It could be anything, but it’s yet another mysterious occurrence we’ve had to deal with.

(Perhaps if we had the energy to BATHE him regularly, this wouldn’t happen?)

(Oh, unclench. We bathed him today.)

Aaaannndddd… We went to Babies ‘R Us today (No surprise. I go there everyday.) in search of the mystical swaddle-me blankets. Perhaps if Benjamite loses the swaddle battle completely, he’ll just give up and rest without his g-ddamned hands.

Taking any bets?

Holiday weekend. My ass.

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2 Responses to “Dumb. Ass.”

  1. Em Says:

    Okay so I hope the weekend was wonderful … I’m sure you looked un-wrinkled and fabulous!! Let’s hear about it. 🙂

  2. Julie Says:

    All I can say is been there, done that… and it does get better. Sounds cliche, but true.