I got a letter from XM Radio back in June that the credit card the monthly fees are charged to has an expiration date that is near. It asked that I call the super special 800 number to update the information lest the earth stop spinning on its axis and my XM Radio be discontinued.
And I needs me some satellite radio. ‘Cause I hates me some commercials and local talent.
So I call up with my credit card ready and get to speak with the lovely Tanya, Customer Service Representative. Tanya has a lovely headcold. And is trying her hardest to be perky. Not bright, but perky.
I explain to Tanya why I’m calling and she proceeds to attempt to pull up my account. I say “attempt”, because it appears my account does not exist. And here’s where it goes bad fast.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, is it possible the account is under a different name?”
“No. It isn’t. And, since you guys generated this form letter from your customer account database, I would imagine you have used the actual customer information to do that, right?”
“Well, I don’t know about that.”
“Well, I didn’t send the letter to myself, so SOMEONE at XM knows we have an account…especially since you people have been billing me for 2 years.”
“Yes. Perhaps you could give me the radio ID number?”
“No. I’m not in my car.”
“Is your car nearby?”
“Are you kidding?”
“Well, we could definitely find the information using the radio ID.”
“So, you want me to walk out to my car, in the rain, and burn up cell phone minutes because you guys can’t find my name?”
“If you wouldn’t be too inconvenienced.”
“Let me think about that – NO. And now I have a different concern. You want me to give you credit card information – and you guys seem to have lost my existing information. Why on earth would I risk giving you this sensitive information now? As a customer, I am now officially uncomfortable.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“Well, here’s what I think I’m gonna do. I’m going to hang up now and NOT give you the updated information. Perhaps you really have lost my information, and yet I still receive your XM services. You sent me that letter in June. It is now August. There doesn’t seem to be any hurry to get this new info, does it? So, I’ll gamble that my XM radio doesn’t get shut off – and if it does, then I’ll consider calling you back.”
“Uh, okay. Um…if you get a chance, call us from your car – or, uh… have a nice day.”
Any bets on how this might turn out?