The Nanny Diaries: Day 2 …and a Call for Reinforcements

June 14, 2006

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Well, the trip to the grocery store was a success. And the best part? Fresh ceviche for dinner.

Fresh. Ceviche. People. OMG.

There were a few hiccups along the path today, but none as sad and hysterical as what happened to the Swimmy. I brought her home from day camp today a tired, thirsty, red-faced, sweaty blob. This very cute blob asked what Maria was doing and I told her helping to straighten up the house a little. So, off she went to check on the new curious houseguest.

Twenty seconds later the Swimmy comes in with the most pitiful look on her face, bottom lip in full outward pout and wet eyes and squeaks out, “Where did my white pillowcase go?”

Huh? “Do you mean did we change the sheets today?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, yes, Maria changed the sheets so you could sleep on clean sheets.”

*pause*

“BUT WHY DID THEY TAKE AWAY MY WHITE PILLOWCASE?!” [insert Sarah Bernhardt sob]

“They? Uh, why don’t you come show me what you mean.”

[sniff] “Okay, Mommy.”

We head off to her room only to discover that Maria had mistakenly put on a set of twin-sized guest sheets that are, you guessed it, Not Swimmy’s. Or? white. Or? in any way acceptable.

Hearing the call of a Very Distraught Swimmy, Maria comes in and asks what is wrong. I calmly explain (trying very hard not to laugh) that these sheets are for guests and Miss Anal Retentive 2006 has her own sheets that she prefers to sleep on and oh my g-d can we fix this now?

*knowing glances exchanged* (This works in any language.)

We all change the sheets together, order is restored in the world, and the earth continues to rotate on its axis.

So. That’s done.

People, I need your help. Maria is quite competent. Quite. And I? Am running out of things for her to do. On Day 2. This is not good. Understand, we have a 2800 sqft, four-bedroom, 2-bath house. We do not have “gardens”, “quarters” or any part of the house that could be named a “wing”. We live a fairly casual lifestyle, but are not terribly messy (usually). There are only 3 of us and a dog.

This is not a house (right now) that takes up a ton of maintenance time. And there is no infant requiring 24 x 7 care yet.

So. You can see my dilemma. On one hand, we are all learning each others preferences, getting used to the whole “new person living here all week” and enjoying some added cleanliness. On the other… what the fuck do I have this woman do every day?

Now. Here’s where you come in.

If you to have your nanny/housekeeper wish granted and Maria were to be miraculously beamed Star Trek style to your house… What would you have her do?

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7 Responses to “The Nanny Diaries: Day 2 …and a Call for Reinforcements”

  1. Nic Says:

    Iron all the clothes I never wear ’cause they tend to need ironing.
    Do all the mending, seams, buttons, stuff like that.
    Clean out the fridge, freezer and pantry.
    Flip the mattresses.
    Vacuum the baseboards, behind the couch, the cars… whatever you normally skip.
    Take down, wash and rehang the drapes. Or if I had blinds, I’d do that wiping them down in between the slats thing that I never get to.
    Help me go through the closets to donate clothes, find that mending and see what everyone’s grown out of.
    Weren’t you moving everyone’s rooms? Could she help with that?
    Saddlesoap the leather chair- if you have one.
    Alphabetize your bookshelves, movies, or CDs.
    Do all the laudry that keeps building up on me.
    Or if none of this sounds good could you please send her my way? I aparently have a lot of stuff to take care of.

  2. dee Says:

    I totally agree with Nic. All of those things that you think need to be done but you never get around to doing because you would rather sleep? Maria can do those. If Maria were at my house, she would hate me in less than a day with all of the cleaning/organizing that needs to be done. In fact, I’m suddenly having nanny envy.

  3. jen Says:

    Nic pretty much covered it.
    Oh, and I would have her clean my ceiling fans. Ours run 24/7. In the odd chance that they get shut off, they almost crumble under the weight of the dust that is on them. Ugh.
    Baseboards. I would love her forever if she were to clean my baseboards. Although, if I were to have her tackle my closets, she would run from this house, screaming…loudly.
    *sigh*

  4. Sara Says:

    Did Nic mention the windows? That would be good. And how about under/behind the fridge?
    Another idea — she could make up a weekly menu so you know what’s coming up on your plates.
    I think the organizing ideas are great too.

  5. bill Says:

    I would sub-contract her back to you two days a week!

  6. Hazel Hazel Says:

    The spring cleaning stuff is a good idea. I had so much trouble getting that stuff done when my kids were young.

  7. rod Says:

    have her stalk the over zealous cop that snagged you 5 mph over.