Not quite “The Apprentice”, but there ARE candidates and we ARE going to the Boardroom

June 1, 2006


Okay, here’s what we came up with today.

Candidate #1: Maria (This is so cliché and expected it’s sad, isn’t it?) “The Mother”

46 years old, married

Husband works construction and travels during the week

Three grown children, some family here (in our city)

Has experience with infants, kids, housekeeping and cooking. She really wants a clean house.

Loves dogs

Was with last family 1 year before they moved to San Antonio. She went with them for a short while to help with the transition.

Was with another family 6 mos before SHE moved with her husband to Dallas.

She has wallpaper and dry wall / sheetrock skills as well.

Speaks about 50% English

Not a citizen, but has an ID card

No known health issues. Had TB shot.

Asked if it was okay to take the kids to the park and walk the dog.

Able to work weekends


Candidate #2: Josephine “She Brings the Crazy”

Mid 40s

Speaks perfect English

US Citizen


No car, but has driver’s license

Would have to take bus and we’d have to pick her up at bus station

Had a cell phone, but it’s disconnected now

Spoke 100 miles per hour and bordered on manic laughter. She might have scared me a little.

Cooks fairly well

Certified in CPR

No known health issues. Had TB shot.

Loves dogs

Able to work weekends


Candidate #3: Deily (pronounced Daily) “Miss Enthusiastic 2006”

Early 40s

Hardly any English

Not a citizen, but has ID card


Very religious family, so no alcohol, smoking, etc.

Loves children and prefers to work with them

Loves dogs

Some cooking

Worked for doctor’s family but had to quit to go home to El Salvador to take care of mother dying from Alzheimer’s

Working cell phone

Family here in the city and reliable transportation

Able to work weekends



No known health issues, has TB shot

CPR certified

Candidate #4: No show.

Tough shit, honey.

Clearly the contenders are #1 and #3 ‘cause I don’t need anymore scary in my life. I really liked #1, but the fact that she’s married and would have to leave to follow her husband if he decided to take a job somewhere else is unsettling. I also liked the enthusiasm of #3, but I kinda sat there wondering if she was as good a housekeeper.

I have references to call on both of them, which is good.

So. You’re me. Which one do YOU like so far?

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7 Responses to “Not quite “The Apprentice”, but there ARE candidates and we ARE going to the Boardroom”

  1. Ashley Says:

    You know, even with the possibility of her moving away at some point, I think I would still have to go with candidate #1. She sounds like the lady I need to watch MY kids when I go back to work (soon… soon…)
    No matter which you choose, I would like to hear you do the Trump “You’re Fired!!” hehe.

  2. stephanie Says:

    I would vote for #1, too. I don’t really know why I like her over #3, but I had a good feeling about her right away reading your list. (Perhaps the mad dry-walling skillz… you never know when they might come in handy.)

  3. sylvia Says:

    Based on what you’ve said, I’m thinkng #1 seems like the logical choice.
    Will you introduce The Swimmy to her before you make a decision?

  4. Leslie Says:

    Funny even before I read others comments, I thought one.
    Seems more stable, for some reason. The other one might have to leave to.. more family in El Salvador, who knows?
    If you don’t think she will be clean, she never will.
    Hard choices… good luck.

  5. janice Says:

    I vote #1 as well. Perhaps the others paled in comparison after the “cliche”?

  6. Kelly Says:

    I’d go with #1.
    But more importantly I would like to have your life where I could actually hire a nanny and housekeeper.
    Now THAT sounds really nice to me.

  7. Jet Says:

    I did not like either.
    #1. I would hate for the Swimmy and boy baby to get attached only to have her leave. That would suck.
    #3. If you’re wondering about the cleaning……..Then she probably ain’t clean.
    Go with your gut!