On Motherhood

May 15, 2006

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If you’re paying attention in life, you don’t need a national holiday to bring to light some lessons in life. But, occasionally, those holidays provide an additional day of “ah…yes” for you.

I came to motherhood in an unorthodox way. I married into it. Once I made this choice, I began to look around and really study other mothers and their relationships to their children. I didn’t have to look far to see a wide range of situations.

I’ve seen mothers who didn’t appreciate being mothers.

I’ve seen mothers who didn’t understand their role.

I’ve seen mothers who were true matriarchs, and those who shied away from that role.

I’ve seen mothers who didn’t learn until much later in life how to fit into their childrens’ lives.

But now, I notice the children. And a lot of it saddens me.

I see children who have lost faith in their parents.

I see adults whose expectations are those of children.

I see children destined to repeat mistakes of their parent.

I see adults who have become someone their parents don’t want really want to be close to any longer.

I see adults who have conveniently forgotten about the honor and obligation a child has for good parents.

And children who don’t understand why they need not be obligated to or feel guilty about their parent’s behavior.

This May 22nd, The Swimmy and I will be five years into our relationship. And with each developmental milestone, we both have to adjust to those changes – and accept them. I have expectations of what our adult relationship will be like. I’m not ashamed to say that. But, I know, that working hard toward that end for the next 20 years is time well spent. That way, I know she’ll be a well-adjusted, emotionally stable, loving, strong, caring woman ready to take on her own marriage and family.

And THAT will be the best Mother’s Day present ever.

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3 Responses to “On Motherhood”

  1. Sara Says:

    Beautifully expressed! My girl is two today; I’m finally beginning to see her personality develop and I love to watch my part in its healthy development. Happy Everyday!

  2. Em Says:

    Perfectly written! Maybe Mother’s Day should instead be a reminder to parents of their roles in their childrens’ lives? Mine seemed extremely caught up in their own soap opera during some very important times in my life. I wish they would have remembered what you have written here, because I know this was not their intention.
    But you know what they say about good intentions! …
    I have a suspicion your relationship (now and future) with Swimmy will more than exceed your expectations.
    Happy Mother’s Day!

  3. Jet Says:

    My daughter had her kindergarten graduation last night. I dressed her in a what I would like to think a “Bob Mackie” knock off, complete with all the accessories. After she was dressed, she looked so grown up and took on that “I am dressed up and grown” attitude. When we arrived at the banquet she strutted in better than Tyra ever could. I thought to myself again how grown up she looked, and then out of nowhere up walks a little girl in the exact same dress. I was mortified. How dare she wear the “lil diva’s” dress. My “lil diva” turned right back into a 5 year old and said, “Look Mommy! How cool we have on the same dress”
    My daughter will be a better person than me. Thank God for that!