At the end of my, er, thread

March 14, 2006


Well, it’s that time. It’s time to leave the hottness behind and walk towards… maternity clothes. Shit.

I have officially hit the beginning of the end of my favorite:

Banana Republic t-shirts (that no longer cover my tummy)

High heeled strappy shoes (that are now making my back hurt)

Groovy, slim-fitting button-down shirts for work (as I am neither slim, nor fit right now)

Belts (I will miss you the most)

And so now I will dig back into a box of 5-year old maternity clothes to see what can be salvaged and then go out for a brief but depressing purchasing spree to fill in a few things.

Any guesses on whether I can find some tops that don’t have polka dots or bows on them? Or pants that don’t make me look like I’m waiting for a flood because, apparently, tall people don’t have babies? Or a pair of shoes that are cool, have a nice-looking heel, and don’t make my back hurt?

All I can say is G-d bless jewelry and purses! You don’t have to change your entire wardrobe of them just because your waistline has started to mimic the equator. (You just change what’s IN your purse!) They remain hip and stylish and sparkly and pretty. They are what’s going to keep me sane in the upcoming months. Because belly bands and “ties around the back” … might make my head explode.

How is it that science can figure out a way to keep a guy’s penis hard for 8 hours straight but we can’t design stylish maternity clothes that are (a) affordable and, (b) made of decent material and good construction?!

Anyone got any good websites or stores you can recommend to keep me from crying every time I step into my closet for awhile? Lob ‘em at me, people!

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8 Responses to “At the end of my, er, thread”

  1. Nic Says:

    Rockstar Mommy mentioned a maternity shirt she made (Blondie on the front) ’cause she was tired of the bows and polka dots too. I know she has a baby clothes line she creates but I don’t know if she sells the maternity tops. Maybe you could email her? Good luck!

  2. bill Says:

    If you want well-constructed clothes for your “condition” think large, farmer.
    Ay-yup. Coveralls and strappy heels get me every time.

  3. Tina Says:

    I remember buying a pair of maternity jeans that had BELT LOOPS!! As if….

  4. Chris Says:

    For what its worth, eight hours is an awful long time. That would really become more of a nuisance than an asset.

  5. Sara Says:

    Japnese Weekend has wonderful maternity clothes. Their jeans and pants rock. They are online at and I think they have a link to places that carry them. It will be okay, I promise. When I was pregnant, I bought the best Michael Stars maternity t-shirts. And it looks like he has those on his website! Good luck, I’m sure you’ll continue to look hottt (those extra t’s are very necessary).

  6. jen Says:

    Hey Chris — says you!!! LOL
    *sheepish grin*
    Ahem…anyway…try being overweight and trying to find maternity clothes. Since my ass is jobless, I am going the route of overalls and oversize tee shirts!
    I do have two or three cute outifts that my Mom got me at some high falutin’ place in town, that will suffce for when I actually leave the house!

  7. K Says:

    First time I’m visiting your post–very well written! You’ll bounce back and yes, thank the Lord for accessories!!

  8. hardtoimagine Says:

    The good news is that in the last couple of years maternity clothes have improved a bit. I was on a pretty tight budget with my maternity clothes, but I was able to find some decent stuff at Target, Old Navy, and JCPenney. I would definitely look for at least one pair of the yoga-style rollover waist pants for when you just want to be comfy.