A Glimpse

March 3, 2006

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I’ve spent the past several days helping finalize arrangements with my folks. You know… who will let the yard people in the gate, who will get the mail, how the mail will get divided up between my aunt and my folks, how we will get the mail to my folks, etc… (I called dibs on the magazines.)

There have been a few conversations about “what if…” well, if something unexpected happens. Discussions about expectations, instructions, paperwork locations. But that hasn’t been the focus because the focus is health, not it’s opposite.

A few days ago it occurred to me that I was going to be without a “safety net” with my folks out of town. I can usually count on my mom or dad to get The Swimmy in a pinch, to be the host for most major holidays, to be nearby if I need to pick something up.

All that ends for awhile this Sunday when they leave for Little Rock. I will be fending for myself for awhile. This is not to say other family and extended family isn’t there or able to be supportive, but this immediate, important, ever-present link will be missing for the first time in my life.

And with that, I considered the reality that at some point, they will be gone…forever. What struck me was not so much that I was sad (which I was), but that I had a sense that I would be okay. I would be sad, but not lost. And that? was somewhat comforting.

My parents are amazing role models. They have been in each other’s lives for 45 years – since they were 15 years old. I learned about marriage and parenthood from them. And although parents never stop teaching their children, I know that most of the lessons have been taught. And I believe I can say that most of the lessons have truly been learned. And with that and the love of my Husband and children, I know I will be okay.

But, let’s not test that theory for another 15 or 20 years, okay?

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2 Responses to “A Glimpse”

  1. Nic Says:

    Yeah, I still remember when I was in high school and had locked my keys in the truck (while it was running), dialing my folks for the spare and thinking “Damn, I am way to stupid to not live in the same town as my parents.” I’m hoping that I will never do that again but I’m not interested in testing the notion. Good luck to you without them and even more so good health to your Moma. I hope she’s home and feeling better real soon.

  2. jen Says:

    I feel sort of lost sometimes over my Dad. We were just SO close. I think it is more just because I cannot see him, cannot see his smile, or ask his advice….or hug him and joke with him. Those little moments with him are what I cherished most…
    He taught me well, and I am doing just fine. There is just a huge gaping hole in my heart…. *sigh*
    Your Mom will do just fine! Keeping you all in my good thoughts!!