Humiliation in the form of a math equation with a side of broken chips.

November 17, 2005


First, let me just say how absolutely annoyed I am. I got stood up for lunch today by a old colleague. At a halfway decent restaurant that I was kinda looking forward to eating at. I hate that. I know that things happen, but a phone call would have been nice. And, so… lunch ended up being a turkey and swiss sandwich from the deli downstairs in my building. Pfft.

Okay, now for the humiliation, but first, a little background.

I am very tall. Because I am very tall it is often times hard for me to find pants that are long enough to wear heels with and get that “heel and pointy-toe peeking out at the bottom” effect. But the other day, I not only found a pair, they were On Sale! Love that.

These particular pants have a cuff at the bottom, which is not normally what I buy (mostly because they’re hard to find in “longs”). Even better.

So, I decide to wear said pants to lunch today (and because I have to actually go in to the office for some meetings this afternoon). Am professional. Am cute. Am put together nicely. Am wearing kicky heels with my cuteness. Am happy.

For awhile.

Here’s the equation you ladies (and you cross-dressing or experimenting men) need to keep in mind. It is one I learned today.

Cuffed Pants + Spikey, Kicky Heels = Wipeout of epic proportions

Yes, that’s right, a complete wipeout right in the middle of the hallway complete with loud thud, small scream and my bags and food flying in opposite directions. Tres graceful, no?


And so, I sit here with my smashed turkey and swiss sandwich, broken chips and throbbing knees waiting to see if I am, in fact, REALLY hurt. Which? Given my back history? Is entirely possible.

Sigh. I need a nap. And some Advil. And a hug.

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One Response to “Humiliation in the form of a math equation with a side of broken chips.”

  1. bill Says:

    Happens to me all the time and I wear steel-toed construction boots! I should switch to heels.