G-d must not have liked my capitalist reference yesterday. He decided to do a little jacking with me financially today.
When I left my state job last month, I wanted to cash out on the mandatory retirement plan you must contribute to as an employee (which pisses me off in so many ways). Screw the tax penalty – give me my damn money back.
Well, I haven’t seen my check yet so I began the endless phone calls to the benefits office and the state. Ohhh… we don’t seem to have the paperwork.. could you possibly fill out yet another form? Yeah, you’ll need to call this person… nope, can’t fax it, we need any original signature… Blah, blah, blah… and where’s my money, folks?!
Oh! But wait! We FOUND the form! However, it appears you were overpaid on your final paycheck, so we’ll need you to address that before we can file the refund paperwork. Hasn’t Payroll contacted you?
Let me get this straight. You want me to give money back?! You have got to be kidding me. Oh my G-d heads will roll and lawyers will be called! Two voicemails, three phone calls and four different people later, it turns out that (ha ha!):
1. I was not overpaid, bitches! The last check I received was originally run incorrectly, but it got fixed even before they mailed it to me.
2. My bullshit retirement account will be refunded to me in the next three weeks.
3. I am ALSO getting a check for unused vacation time which should be in the mailbox waiting for me today!
So, no more taking the lord’s name in revenue. Or margin. Amen.