Out of Work: Monday is Day One

September 18, 2005


Okay, so I’m not technically out of work. But, I do not have to get up and go to a job tomorrow, and that, in my book, is OUT OF WORK. (Note: this is different from On Vacation where they pay you not to come to work. I like that even more.)

In a burst of HGTV-induced enthusiasm, I decided to try to fix Husband’s bedside lamp all by myself. I mean, come on, how hard can it be? Every chick on HGTV can do this, surely I can, too. I have degrees! I have taken 247 personality / work style profiling tests that say I would be excellent at figuring this out (and then pissing off my team in a fit of dominant leadership)! I have TIME.

So, off to Lowe’s with the broken lamp.

The lamp only needed a new switch. I can’t remember why the nice lamp doesn’t have its switch anymore (it’s been broken for 3 years), but I’m sure it was something dumb that caused it to leave or be lost.

I found a nice blue-aproned lighting guru dude to talk to about my HGTV challenge and he was nice – and more than amused at my electrical virginity.

Self: See this lamp? It’s broken.

Dude: Yep.

Self: Can you help me fix it?

Dude: Yep.

Self: Lead the way, hoss. I’m all yours.

Dude: Want it to be a three way?

Self: Uh, jeez, I’m flattered, but I’m not really into that kind of thing.

Dude: [Not laughing]

Self: [Sheepishly] Yes, a three way switch would be nice.

Dude: Here ya go. Pop off the top part and you’ll see two screws. Attach one wire to one, the other wire to the other, and you’re in business.

Self: Really? That’s it?

Dude: Yep.

Self: Can I screw this up? Burn down my house?

Dude: Nope. Only thing that can go wrong is it won’t work.

Self: Well, hell, it does that now…

And, voila! A working lamp. I was so excited at my accomplishment that I actually text-messaged Husband on the golf course to tell him how I GOT SKILLS.

And this was a weekend! IMAGINE what adventures await my house for the next three days of being Out of Work?!

If you need me, I’ll be at Lowe’s.

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2 Responses to “Out of Work: Monday is Day One”

  1. Raquita Says:

    Congrats on teh lamp – and I tell you what – when I saw you love Ari too – I had to start reading!
    Will be reading!

  2. Chris Says:

    Lowes is a wonderful place..so much better than Home Depot. Good job with the lamp!!