Okay, so I’m not technically out of work. But, I do not have to get up and go to a job tomorrow, and that, in my book, is OUT OF WORK. (Note: this is different from On Vacation where they pay you not to come to work. I like that even more.)
In a burst of HGTV-induced enthusiasm, I decided to try to fix Husband’s bedside lamp all by myself. I mean, come on, how hard can it be? Every chick on HGTV can do this, surely I can, too. I have degrees! I have taken 247 personality / work style profiling tests that say I would be excellent at figuring this out (and then pissing off my team in a fit of dominant leadership)! I have TIME.
So, off to Lowe’s with the broken lamp.
The lamp only needed a new switch. I can’t remember why the nice lamp doesn’t have its switch anymore (it’s been broken for 3 years), but I’m sure it was something dumb that caused it to leave or be lost.
I found a nice blue-aproned lighting guru dude to talk to about my HGTV challenge and he was nice – and more than amused at my electrical virginity.
Self: See this lamp? It’s broken.
Self: Can you help me fix it?
Self: Lead the way, hoss. I’m all yours.
Dude: Want it to be a three way?
Self: Uh, jeez, I’m flattered, but I’m not really into that kind of thing.
Dude: [Not laughing]
Self: [Sheepishly] Yes, a three way switch would be nice.
Dude: Here ya go. Pop off the top part and you’ll see two screws. Attach one wire to one, the other wire to the other, and you’re in business.
Self: Really? That’s it?
Self: Can I screw this up? Burn down my house?
Dude: Nope. Only thing that can go wrong is it won’t work.
Self: Well, hell, it does that now…
And, voila! A working lamp. I was so excited at my accomplishment that I actually text-messaged Husband on the golf course to tell him how I GOT SKILLS.
And this was a weekend! IMAGINE what adventures await my house for the next three days of being Out of Work?!
If you need me, I’ll be at Lowe’s.