Well, I’m 35 today. No biggee. A few folks have called to ask if I feel “Old”, but, meh. Notsomuch. I may have changed age brackets, but this one doesn’t bother me really. 38 will. I’ll explain that one another time.
The day started out just lovely with The Swimmy presenting me with a birthday card addressed and signed in her very cute 4 year old I’m learning to write handwriting. And she had to point out that (a) I’m 35 today, (b) this is my birthday card and (c) look! It has fuzzy bears on it Mommy! Very cute.
Husband also gave me a wonderful card full of lovely sentiments. He’s good like that. A good card writer (although he claims this was not his best work). And with awesome penmanship – I still marvel at it to this day.
Husband also gave me a slammin’ new dress and shoes for a FABULOUS party we get to attend this weekend. Yeah! Two parents pretending to have a life with the “beautiful” people. Cocktails, dancing, mingling, cocktails, networking, hors d’ouvres, more cocktails… Hoo boy!
And, the best part about the dress? It’s sexy, but hits right below the knees so my huge ugly scrape from the fall will not show! Sexy and injured, but no one will know! Love that.
However. Today? Not so wonderful once I got to work. The elevator? That I hate? Stuck. With me in it. FOR 40 FUCKING MINUTES. I had company as well – a nice woman that works on my floor. We commiserated about the lovely situation we found ourself in, but then, I realized my stomache was not happy about the molten chocolate cake from last night and was signaling to find a ladies room. Soon.
And so, between listening to my new ElevatorFriend talk on her cell phone to security (endlessly), the building maintenance people who were fucking worthless banging around trying to figure what happened, AND the fact that there was NO AIR CONDITIONING – not so fun.
I tried really hard to go to my Happy Place. But, my happy place was starting to become a bathroom and that was clearly not going to happen any time soon and COME ON ALREADY I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOT BOX, PEOPLE!
And, really, when you’re trying to concentrate, people yapping endlessly is not at all soothing. I’m sure ElevatorFriend is a nice person (she let me use her cell phone to snark at the office receptionist about GETTING ME OUT OF HERE), I needed to not hear her talk anymore and was silently saying, “Could you PLEASE shut the fuck up?! Here’s a dollar. I beg you.”
Obviously, we got out. The doors opened and there were 6 firemen (with axes!), 2 worthless building maintenance people and 3 elevator company people to greet us.
And all I had to say was, “This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. And I’m gonna need some addresses for the 3 letters I’m about to write. Where are the stairs?”
Somebody get me a cupcake. And a potty. Or leave a nice comment and tell me how fabulous I am… I like those, too.