Car SalesVermin

July 29, 2005


On the TTLB Ecosystem, car salesman are easily Insignificant Microbes.  As a recovering salesperson myself, these people shouldn’t be allowed to use the word “sales” as their profession.

Case in point, I went to a Volkswagen dealership yesterday to look at a pre-owned car for ArtsyDaughter.  (Pre-owned… such marketing.)  I waited for the “Internet Sales Manager” in his nasty little office.  In walks a twenty-something guy and the conversation went something like this:

Slimeball:         Talk to me!  (yes, he really said that)

Me:                  (Silence)

Me:                  (Annoyed stare that says, “Wanna try that again?”)

Slimeball:         Uh… how may I help you?

Me:                  I’m interested in these two cars I printed off your website.

Slimeball:         Well, I want you to get such a good deal that you drive it home tonight.

Me:                  Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.  I’m just looking for the best price and some information.

Slimeball:         Ok.  Let’s see what we can do to make you happy.

Me:                  Buddy, that list is long and distinguished.  Right now, what’s the best you can do on these?

Slimeball:         (Computer keys clicking….clicking….clicking….)

Slimeball:         Here’s the best I can do on each car.  Awesome deals on both.

Me:                  Right.  The second car needs tires.

Slimeball:         Oh.  Okay, I can give you two tires.

Me:                  Two?

Slimeball:         That’s all I can do.

Me:                  Well, I’ll take that under advisement.

Slimeball:          So, what’ll it take for you to make this deal today?

Me:                  See that Texas Lottery billboard sign?  Winning that.

At the end of this 15 minute exchange I felt like taking a shower.  In hydrochloric acid.   And a steel brush.

But, it’s the end of the month, and Husband and I will be back at it this weekend.  Wish us luck.  Or send money.  Or both.

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