Kill Me Now

July 21, 2005


Somewhere after the age of 30, you begin to be acutely aware of the power of your body (and not in the make-a-man-drop-to-his-knees sense either).  Your body begins to provide certain moments of, shall we say… clarity.

I first noticed this when I was pregnant with The Swimmy.  I had a bionic sense of smell.  Guy across the auditorium who hadn’t brushed his teeth?  Might as well have been breathing 2 inches from my face.  Anything chicken?  Not a chance.  Cleaning products the maid service used?  Awful, but I put up with it because I was happy to have them!  (I’m a team player like that.)

After The Swimmy was born, it became my stomache.  That rumbling mean I’m hungry?  Nope.  Better be glad I knew where every bathroom in the city was.  Any mother with toddlers, pregnant or semi-nauseated person traveling with me figured out I was more valuable than their GPS system in their car.

Currently I have the latest SwimmyGerms manifesting themselves as a sore throat and cough.  And, last night, my throat had a revolution.  I had just put The Swimmy to bed and was settling in to watch today’s episode of General Hospital (shut up, I know) when I got a tiny tickle at the back of my throat.  Which promptly turned in to a violent coughing fit that lasted 4 minutes!

OMG!  Eyes watering, not breathing, throat wrenching, bent over (please, G-d, don’t let me back give out!), make it stop!  When it was over, the dog looked at me like I was a giant cat with hairball issues.  And not only was my throat unbelievably raw, the muscles AROUND my throat were sore.  Christ.

And so, today, here I sit, back sore (but not out!), throat raw, little voice.  Bring on the Z-pack, people!

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